I'm No Determinist, But What of Eli's Existence?

Thanks to Mom Rhoden's awesome call to watch our son as our primary caregiver, Cari and I got out last night to spend some time together without school or work. A conversation came up that we usually dance around and it was Eli's life. We cannot express-and I doubt we'd ever be able to speak such words-how much we love our son. We just can't. We do wonder what our lives would be like without him, though. Would I be at a different job or would Cari? Where would we be living? What friends would we be close to without a child to play with theirs? I guess it's anyone's guess but we like to play "What if?" from time to time.

I love these types of discussions because they're so rare, and I love talking with my wife for she's so brilliant in keeping the fire burning. We found ourselves wondering if Eli's existence could have been avoided...or if God's providence that he be born by the exact means undergone overrode our own plans. Now, I'm not to be misunderstood and say human beings-created sinners that we are-ever override God's plans. The Lord has seen as far forward as time exists and as far back as the first tick of the proverbial clock. He transcends time in that He is Lord of that creation as well as His others. I struggle with how I believe in the freedom of the will/choice and how the Almighty views our wills in regard to time. Does He look down the corridor of time and see the Hitlers from the Mother Theresas? And if he sees them, how does this affect their salvation?

I guess what I'm working through is how God allows us to procreate and not Divinely make us have children. Was Eli's birth at the exact second he breathed extra-womb air predetermined using Cari as the carrier of such birth, or could we have waited another year to have a different child? I love these mind-twisters and the mysteries of God because it means I care so strongly to know the character of God. He has allowed me so much and still He's giving in the area of knowledge and curiosity. There's no pride here, though, because I simply strive to know my Creator for His glory.

Here's another fun thought: I fully believe there could never be another one of us as we are now, based on when we were born. Eli couldn't have been Eli if he were born any time later or earlier. He would be different than who he is now, for better or worse. How does this work with what I'm desiring to comprehend? The Bible mentions how God opens and closes the womb (a verse or phrase I've forgotten so many times but wish to memorize) at His desire; so does He use time, freedom of the will, we the agents of the child, and our happiness to this advantage of childbearing? It'll be interesting to know these answers one day, but of course then it won't matter as it does now.