Hello, fellow bloggers. Once again a longer period of time has gone by since the last post, and again, I hope to update more often. Kim actually has re-sparked my interest in this particular outlet for one-way conversation (before comments, that is).

Cari is still a great mom; nothing has changed there. She's making more efforts in doing things with her friends, especially other moms. I used to feel so bad for her because it was difficult to go out with Eli as a newborn babe. Now, with our son growing up so quickly, she's able to connect with other moms and friends from her past.

Eli has bore one tooth so far, but its progress is grass-growing slow. Actually, here in Florida grass can grow quite quickly, so maybe Eli's tooth is growing slower? Yes. He's keeping everyone busy by pulling up on chairs, stools, couches, or someone's leg, all while doing what we all do and heading sky-bound. I sometimes can't remember my life before Eli; the times I can are unsettling and I'd rather not recall many of those memories. Though, on that note, I do miss times staring at Cari and not wishing to remember times before her. Can we just forget our pasts? Are the pasts of people certainly the backdrops for something monumental? Do all my wicked and dark nights merely fall away to the saintlier and light-filled days?

These strange thoughts aside, Eli has brought us unimaginable joy. I find myself misty-eyed when my mind hovers over his face or the simple things he brings to my life. I know I wouldn't be the man I am without his very being. I know I'm not much of a man-who is, really? If one is chosen to be "much of a man" by others, I wish I could be as they are: memorable and inspirational. That to say, the man I have become is odd and confusing, and yet, I'm at peace with most of the choices I've made. For the baby boy who has captured my heart with net and trident, I wish I could give him more. I also wish I could give my wife a house with a yard to which we'll hire workers to keep it short and green. I wish I could set out a cooler with ice-cold drinks for those workers, paying each person for the labor they've done for me, having friendships with each of them. I wish Cari could wave hello to them and tell Eli to say hello; he'll of course do as mommy tells him, with sincerity in his heart because he knows the Lord's kindness. I wish we could walk to a lake and cast a line or two, fishing from a clean, sandy beach. From here my wishes become more and more selfish; instead, they should be prayers of a hopeful future for the family I've taken on.

Now Eli is coming after me and the laptop; oh no!

For me, school has been incredible. It's been difficult and hard to chew, and at the same time, it's been worth it. Or has it? The time I spent reading and writing and reading some more could have been used with my two loves...three loves. I gave up reading the Word all summer and I've paid a high price. My faith has stayed the course but my interests have strayed. Instead of God being my best Friend and the warmth in my bones, I've sacrificed Him again and again for papers graded with an A. What lengths we men go to as we run from our God to find something that doesn't exist. We're searching in vain for everything we don't need and forgetting the very Person we couldn't live without.

All these regrets and queer remarks have climaxed into a much-needed release of daily hints that I need Jesus the Christ, Savior of the World, now, Now, NOW. Do you remember the day you felt this way? If not, oh, I wish you could.