Last year ended strangely. First, through a lot of hard work, Cari had Eli in November. I don't think there has been a happier day in my entire life (other than meeting Cari and marrying her) than when he was born. Thanksgiving and Christmas soon came and went, but these holidays were different than the others. Because Cari was recovering from the labor and getting accustomed to having a baby to feed every two hours, it was difficult for us to get around and mingle. We told our families that we were going to go to their houses for a little while and head back home sooner than usual. My mom sees holidays as a big deal and it must've been hard for her to see us for so short a time.
The days after Thanksgiving were hard because they started a downhill portion of my family's relationship with my parents and brothers. Once Christmas was over, New Year's probably was the last holiday for awhile that there was much talking between the two families. Not even I really know how the silence lasted so long, but for about nine months I didn't talk often with my mom and only so often with my father.
I tried reconciling with my mom but it was too early (even though three or four months fled before our eyes) to get much out in a non-convicting way. My dad was always good about asking when we were going to talk again, but to no avail. I just didn't wish to get back into the mix with my family. I liked having dinner with my father occasionally and leaving it at that. My brothers' attitudes were very discriminatory and accusing towards me. They took my mom's side because it's the only one they heard. I had no intentions of violently confronting them, but I made my side known through short contact.
Finally, last week, my dad had dinner with us and helped us to see it was time for another true shot at being a family again. For my brother's birthday we went over to the house and started off pretty well. Before long, though, I heard the sarcasm in my mom's voice and I bit my tongue not to reply in the same manner. Eventually things got better and the night survived our visit.
I guess the whole reason I'm writing this is because I've not really thought much of the party since it and it's "nice" that everything went okay. I guess it's nice. Who am I kidding? Maybe it's nice. I'm trying to keep a strong sense of accomplishment but at the same time, weariness. Do people really change? I guess time will tell.
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4 comments:
What a BIG step- I'm so proud (hope that comes across right) of you and Carissa for taking the opportunity given and handling it in a God-honoring way. I'll pray for continued work in your family's hearts. You guys did the right thing- God will honor that. I believe people change (or God changes us toward them)
Thanks, Wilsons! We miss you two so much. We MUST get together soon!
I'm sorry guys. That must really be tough. Sometimes it just sucks being in this human shell.
I hate the feeling of discontent and with family it's just way overblown and can last for years.
Remember whose child you are and remind yourself of the gospel. Be the gospel to your wife and son. Our pastor always says to preach the gospel to yourself so that you can be the gospel to those around you. I thought it sounded ridiculous at first, but it wasn't. It's a huge encouragement to just remind myself of who He is. You are worthless without Him and He is worthy! We love you guys...
Wow, such love from our family. Thank you, Kim! You're right when you say "remember whose child" I am. It's tough to do that sometimes, but ah, our spiritual Father never allows us to forget He loves us, even if our worldly parents (or anyone, for that matter) hurt us. We love you too! And we miss you immensely.
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